Think about Friendship using the opposite gender in France?

16 Responses

I really do concur, We also believe friendships is as strong between guys as women and men. I have been many times in america, though We never ever lived here for quite some time, and I also believe that relationships between genders are a bit more sexually-oriented. In France, I had as easily boys and girls friends as I grew up, at school, music or in the sport club. As a grown-up, my closest friend is a person (and I also have always been a female), and it is not shocking at all though it is not such a common thing.

One could additionally note you could ask someone out and it wouldn’t normally immediately be a romantic date. See a film, have drink, they are the master of things two different people of various genders can do as friends easily, and never dating.

That is needless to say just my experience, but i have found friendships with French guys become extremely difficult. The idea that is whole of” relationship will not seem to occur right right right here – there’s always some type of subcontext behind it. Of all the men that are french understand, i can not actually think about any that have close woman buddies except that their wife/girlfriend. And any efforts i have built to socialize together with them have now been strictly rebutted by their partner.

I have seen it take place with numerous friends as well – they meet French men and tell them which they desire to be buddies since they have boyfriend or they are perhaps not interested, therefore the guy will state “No problem”, then again constantly invariably eventually ends up attempting to make a move. But that said, Frenchmen whom’ve been abroad (such as for instance your self Frenchman) appear to appreciate this event better and be seemingly more capable of the non-sexual friendships.

I actually do think it could be a cultural huge difference though.

We anglophones are so focused on intimate harassment that male/female friendships have actually nearly been androgonized, whereas in France the functions continue to be more defined/traditional.

Laetitia: precisely. While I’d numerous feminine buddies in america too, becoming buddies using them was “harder” because I frequently had to “give evidence” that it is all i needed, and incredibly frequently, they’d feel safe beside me after a few years as very nearly 100% of US ladies we’d request a coffee or something will automatically think “date”.

Sam: i do believe we have had this conversation before, but we nevertheless disagree, but still feel you merely came across the people that are wrong. With no, gender roles are far more defined in the usa, no question about this. It really is in the usa perhaps not in France you have actually things such as “chick flicks”, it is in the usa perhaps not in France that dudes “go down with all the guys during the activities club” and females have “girls night”, in France when you are away, you simply head out together with your friends, and it’s really really unusual that it is just dudes or only girls, it is typically a mixture of things. As well as partners, French partners generally have typical hobbies, whilst in most US partners, the person has their hobbies (usually along with other guys) in addition to woman has hers (usually along with other ladies culture that is). American more gender defined compared to French one.

I do believe this subject is more predicated on the individual you might be (or are attempting relationship with), aside from nationality. I experienced plenty of man friends in the usa, homosexual and that is straight i have already made a couple of man buddies right right here also (within my twelve months). I have additionally made few buddies … without having any stigma from either celebration. But anyhoo…yeah I believe it’s just who ya satisfy and just how you address it.

I do not know…I experienced lots of male buddies in america and i truly enjoyed hanging out together with them. Its one thing i definitely here miss over.

And Frenchman, I do not think it is particular to where I lived before – the same task goes for Paris too. I have met many people through the years, and I also can only just think about two that have right, male friends (and they are a great deal older). Within my set of buddies, there are some homosexual Frenchmen and a few international guys, but no straight people. When i do believe associated with French females we knew back Bretagne, i can not actually think about any that has male buddies either – they just had the boyfriends/husbands of these woman buddies, nonetheless they never hung away together.

Another thing we thought of – i will be truly the only female within an workplace of men as soon as we began traveling using them for work, my (French feminine) clients utilized to inquire of me “Doesn’t your spouse head you are vacationing using them? Think about their spouses? ” I recall being amazed by the question as it was not also a thing that had crossed my mind!

Well KSam, exactly what do we state? You must encircle your self with one kind of individuals “only? ” because when I stated, needless to say the kind of individuals you describe exists, nonetheless they’re only one type among numerous.

As “Je ne regrette rien” says I would be lured to state so it will depend on the individual you might be, perhaps not where you stand.

I do not understand, the character concept does not explain it for me – if so, anyone would not have friends that are male either country or along with other foreigners. It’s real though that the countless of publications written in regards to the social differences when considering the usa and France even mention that platonic friendships are a whole lot rarer in France. I am certainly not saying they’ve been impossible or never ever occur however.

And I also do not think we go out with only one variety of individual – in reality we frequently explore exactly exactly just how many of us will have never ever met within our house nations because we traveled in numerous sectors. You need to know Frenchman, you read many of their blog sites!

I do not suggest character by “the kind of individual you are”, or at the least not just personality, but additionally social course, training, back ground as a whole, etc.

Also, both you therefore the friends you mention have a common trait that no French individuals has: you aren’t French. ??

That I could never be friends with while I always had female friends from many nationalities (not only French and American), I know that there are a bunch of American women (and not only American, but that’s the topic here…

It is my experience additionally that in France male-female “platonic” friendships have become regular. We have a dozen of feminine buddies in France (and many more male buddies but that’s maybe not the idea) & most of the inventors my age We understand do too. I do not care generally speaking for contrived dudes out night. Either we have actually a provided interest with individuals and I also’ll enjoy venturing out I don’t, gender doesn’t matter much with them, or.

French girls and boys get precisely the education that is same share the exact same tasks, recreations and games, less “gender” defined than in United States Of America. It generally does not mean that in France reigns an equality that is idyllic gents and ladies, our company is definately not it! However it suggests a “complicit?” (could not find an english word that is equivalent that. ) between men and women i did not find somewhere else in western countries. Ksam, i have perhaps a conclusion in regards to the conditions that you’ve got met with. There was a favorite game we want to play in France, whoever guidelines are understood and internalized by everybody, we call it “marivaudage” or “badinage” and also the English “banter” does not convert completely the entire concept. It is a game title with terms, wit, body gestures, it seems like “flirting” but it is just a game title without effects or innuendos. I’ve seen countless funny misunderstandings about it whenever no-French people (ladies) suffer from it. It describes additionally why those who travel (as you wrote as I do) “seem to understand this phenomenon better. Simply it won’t be understood as a game but like a sort of “boring typical French harassment” because we know!

I do not mean to constantly mention the united states since this weblog is primarily about France, (guess the particular type of English associated with the web log attracts a big interest that is US but i will be through the US, therefore I is certainly going ahead and take action anyhow.